Stolen Dowries in India

As an aside, I also watched a documentary about women in India who are abandoned once the husband has her dowry - up to 30,000 women are abandoned each YEAR in this manner.  The worst part to me is not so much the loss of the money or material goods (though many times it has been a struggle for the brides family to come up with a sufficient enough dowry) but the way in which an abandoned or divorced woman is perceived in India.  There is an excellent post related to this growing problem here.
Again it is a case of women being used as nothing more than a means to an end that has nothing at all to do with the actual woman involved though this is NOT a cultural ritual and I totally wish I was a lawyer so I could go over there and help some of these women.
TOTAL ASIDE:  I found it a bit funny that I saw both of these movies on the eve of my own 5 year annivesary and it made me feel even more grateful to live in a country where I can choose who I want to marry…and I feel grateful I am with someone who loves me for who I am!

The Hima Tribe of Uganda

I saw a documentary late one sleepless night the ION channel called “Fat Fiancees”.  I was curious and had some thought that this was either going to poke fun at fat brides aka: “Bridezilla PLUS SIZE” or turn out to be in favor of a positive body image.  It was neither and I am just not sure how I feel about it.  Having a background in Anthropology I know it is totally unfair to judge another cultures practices so lets just leave my opinion as “I felt sympathy for the girl”
The film was about the Hima Tribe of Uganda who encourage a bride to gain as much weight as possible before a wedding.  So much so that they send her to what is called a ‘fattening hut’ for four months where she drinks whole milk virtually non-stop and is checked periodically for positive signs of weight gain…like stretch marks:

“In Hima society, offering a chubby daughter for marriage is a sign of prosperity, wealth… in short, a fat daughter accords high status to her father…(sic)…While Sheila was off being fattened up, viewers were treated to interviews with the men of the family about the value of a fat woman. Her father observed that, just as with fat cattle, a man can’t find anything bad to say about a large woman.

There is an excellent blog post here about the whole film and additional information researched by the blogger “Lost in Somehwhereistan”.
This ia a radically different approach to what we in America think (or are told?) marriage and beauty is all about.  In this case the fattening really seems to be more about honoring the father and the allure of eventual success and prosperity for the husband than about actual love or compatibility.  In truth, the women of this culture are often described in ways that make them indistinguishable from the cows.

I know many cultures still have such time honored traditions and it is not for me to say what it right or wrong.   We have our own rituals in this country and the blogger made some wonderful comparisons to our modern day ’spend & starve’ approach to weddings (if you read those sorts of magazines…I don’t…I was a fat bride!)
I laughed out loud when Moses said he would be “really, really happy” if Sheila gained 200 pounds!!  Can you imagine!
However, all that PC crapola aside….It was not a stretch for me to feel that this particular ritual was just as bad as expecting women to be a size zero for no more vapid a reason then to look good dangling off of some guys arm or to fit in some ridiculously overpriced pair of jeans.

I have to say I was encouraged to read this in Lost in Somewhereistan’s blog:

“Sheila’s future sister-in-law observed in an interview that she hoped that Sheila wouldn’t gain too much weight. She herself had grown quite large, to the point where she had difficulty rising and walking. She noted that, in addition to the physical handicaps imposed by her size, people were more savvy now about the health risks associated with such dramatic and rapid weight gain. She was considered beautiful and had been a very desirable bride, but paid the price with her health and mobility.“

I wonder if at one point in time in the history of this tribe there was famine and death and to have fat bride ensured fertility?  Rituals often come about as a way to explain or control something that we do not understand or wish to change, it does make wonder.

Still Here…sorta

I’ve been living with a chemistry book glued to my face for the last month and so far have racked up an 88% average (that’s a B).

And I’ve lost…

I’ve lost all interest in getting up early to exercise due to the fact that I stay up late to study 4 nights a week.

I have also found that I am eating out the two nights I am at class and that has become something I look forward to because  it is usually junk food.

I have lost the ability to get a decent nights sleep due to the studying screwing up my sleeping schedule.

I think the lack of sleep has something to do with the crap food I’ve been eating since about a week into the class.

And I’ve learned…

I really MUST HAVE a good nights sleep and I really NEED exercise.  Without those two things, well…how far can I get on salt, grease, no sleep and caffeine???  I can see that the things I have lost (ability to take care of myself) in favor of a good grade in Chemistry is not sustainable.  Granted this is a compressed class (1 year of Chemistry in 8 weeks… how about we call that “Crazy Compressed”!!) and things won’t be quite so bad in a normal classroom, still, I need to get a grip.  This is not good and I feel yucky.

*sigh*

I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do about it…yet.  This crazy crash course will be over in about 3 1/2 weeks and then I can catch my breath.  Until then, the least I can do is stop the ‘junk food’ two nights a week and exercise on the weekends at least.  That is something.

Yup, still riding the ragged edge of Fatdom

Not much has changed since my last post.  I have tried to stay on the diabetic diet-ish thing but it is touch and go.  The only thing I have been able to commit to on a regular basis is the exercise, averaging about 4 times a week at 25 - 30 minutes a time.  I get my fiber, take my vitamins, calcium and fish oil and try to get a good nights sleep and stay away from coffee.  Other than that, things are the same, my weight is unchanged.
They are having a “Biggest Loser” contest at work and this rather thinnish guy who I used to talk to where I was ‘cubed’ before came waltzing over to me with this weird grin on his face and tells me proudly that he “made the board”.  I had no clue what he was talking about.  When he told me I was all “uhh…not like you had that much to lose in the first place”.  My “someone is about to make a personal comment about my weight” alarm went off and I just gave the “who cares” shrug and implored him (silently) to keep his barely-an-inch-to-pinch yap shut.  I mean really, why on EARTH would I  tell one of those bonehead managers of mine what MY weight is???  Are you kidding me?  Do I LOOK stupid?  I can just imagine the convo’s about that!  I would, however, make them all look good in a line up.
We did find a new place to go hiking and we hope to be going to check it out soon.  There is one place nearby that has some trails but it is not challenging (well, except for trying to outwalk the blackflies).
It is hard to find the time on the weekends when I am gone to my parents nearly every two weeks and trying to get other stuff done the other weekends I’m home.  Due to the gas prices I have cut my trips home to every 3 weeks.
We are looking at a piece of property next week.  It has a trailer on it right now but we would want to exchange that for a custom modular at some point in the next 5 years.  There are few things I have longed for (well, excepting food of course) but having a home to call our own has been very important to me the last couple of years.  I think I feel like I will finally feel totally safe and secure.  I’ve explored that some and I know one reason I am craving that is because of the instability in my formative years and even as an adult moving a lot and going from job to job.  I don’t want that life ever again.
One other fabulous thing…..I passed my Intro to Algebra placement test, 102 out of 119!  School is a definite go and I am well on my way to overcoming the monster that is ALGEBRA!!!

The thing with the seats…

I did not have to ask for seatbelt extenders on the way down, surprise, suprise…but on the way back? Yup, both times. My husband, sweetly suggested that it was because these were much older planes (OK, I’ll give him that since they both did still have the faint odor of cigarettes and ashtrays on the wall outside the bathrooms….) but, still, pfft. I figured the stewardess would give me a dirty look but they were nice about it, if not sympathetic seeming.
Orlando was quite hot and everywhere we went it entailed a lot of walking. I gripped quite a bit the first day and then got into the swing of things by that evening….because I ceased to feel my feet I imagine. Epcot was OK, not great. We spent the better part of our time there waiting in line for the rides and honestly, only one was worth the aggravation; Mission to Mars was awesome! Space Mountain was sooo lame - but, it was the ‘ride’ that I heard about back in the 70’s and the thing that made me want to see Epcot center so badly. I can now say I’ve been and wax romantic about it 30 years from now when I’ve forgotten how lame I thought it was…lol.
We were pretty much trapped on the Disney Empire where they had no food stores or vending machines so you had to pay the high prices for everything…$2.00 for a small bottle of water. That part was outrageous. The fact that we weren’t paying for any of it made it a lot easier but we still stuck the budget of what they gave us.
The highlight was the Cirque du Soleil show. It was breathtaking, we were right in the third row (in an impossibly tiny seat I might add) and I spent a small fortune on an organic t-shirt in their shop. I would call that one of the highlights of the whole trip. That evening we bought a gorge fest milkshake and sundae and watched the light show at Epcot from our balcony. That was really nice.
As for my food, well, I don’t think I did all that bad. I did not keep track but it was so hot I didn’t want to eat much anyway. There was an open bar at both evening festivities so I did have at least 2 drinks each night…I felt like such a back waters hick when I asked for a Seagrams & 7 and the bartender said “well, toots, how about Crown Royal and gingerale? Lol.
It has taken a week to get back on track and I am back to the morning exercise and using the diabetic exchange system to keep track of my food. The exercise really helps my energy level and as much as I hate getting up in the morning to do it I am always grateful I’ve done it come late afternoon. I hope it will give me the energy I’m going to need to get thru my Chemistry course this summer. I signed up yesterday…wish me luck!

Two Weeks

I plugged all my food into FitDay for week two and I was right, it was about the same:

Calories: 2,185
Fat: 77grams
Carbs: 287grams
Protein: 97
Fiber: 27

I have not been feeling well and I usually load up on food at least a few days when I feel this crappy.  I did have two days that were very high (2, 936 and 2, 634 calories) but overall it does not weigh down the overall effect this plan is having on me so far.  Was there a pun there?  I’m too annoyed with my itchy nose/throat and sneezing fits to tell.

We leave for Orlando in 3 short days and although I did not meet the goal I had intended I am going to forget that and just enjoy myself and make sure it is a memorable trip, especially for my husband.   He worked hard and he deserves this award!

Now the only thing left to do is decide what to wear….eeeek!!

One Week

I got my glucose and cholesterol stats back; not great but good: overall cholesterol is 210, a bit high on the bad cholesterol (147) but the doc said that since I have no other cardiovascular risks under 160 is good. My fasting blood sugar is 94, that is actually down from last time (101). My blood pressure is normal as is my pulse. I was happy with it. I was a little surprised that the doc did not say that my weight put me at cardiovascular risk. I guess I am marginally fit even at the weight I am at.

Oh, when she weighed me again (it had been 1 1/2 wks since first weigh) I had lost 3lbs.

As for the food. Well, this is a big surprise to me. I did the exchanges as I mentioned earlier. There are some things I have had to cut down on, evening snacking is the big one and I won’t lie and say it has been easy to not indulge. I still have the pizza on Fridays and for those days I cut back on in between meal snacks and ’save’ for that.

Just for shits and giggles I plugged the first week of food into my FitDay and these were my averages:

Calories: 2,129
Fat: 72 grams
Carb: 272 grams
Protein: 106 grams
Fiber: 25 grams

For the nutritional analysis on FitDay I am still a bit low on calcium and magnesium.

Overall, I am happy with this trend. I have not input my 2nd week of info into FitDay yet but I feel the results will be about the same since I am eating about the same amount of things every day.

I have been sick for the past few days so I have not gotten on the treadmill BUT doing that in the morning has worked out very well for both of us. It is good to just get it out the way first thing in the morning. I was never up for it after work and now neither one of us has to sit and feel ‘bad’ for not doing the exercise because we are tired: it’s already done! I think we have finally figured that out after all of the years of trying different ways to get it done. As the days get longer I imagine we will enjoy many afternoon and early evening walks for pleasure…that will be a new experience too.

I do think my success so far is due in large part that my husband and I are doing this together and we are both interested in long-term success rather than short, hard and rarely maintainable goals.

My health insurance company is always sending stuff about preventative healthcare so I used one of their calculator scenarios for weight loss vs activity:

Scenario A) At my current weight if I do NO EXERCISE I could lose 1lb a week eating 2,485 calories a day.

Scenario B) At my current weight if I do some activity for at least 20 - 45 minutes a week (not per day) I could lose 1lb. per week eating 2,945 calories.

I think scenario B sounds way, way off. But, no matter. I am getting 25 - 30 minutes of exercise (the sweating kind) nearly every day and eating way under either of those scenarios.

However, with all that being said and done, I have to say the BEST part of the whole 2 weeks so far has been finding out that if my PAP comes back normal I won’t have to have another one for 3 years. Hallelujah!!!!!  There is nothing I hate more that parking my coochie in some strangers face to get poked and prodded at with those tortuous devices most certainly developed my some man who had serious problems with women…or hated his mother.  Lucky for me, this doc is gotta be the fastest I’ve ever had…seriously I was down and back up again in less than 2 minutes!!  We give thanks for small blessings…

3 Months

After going to the doctors and talking things over with my husband I decided to do something radical…..I decided to listen to him(my husband). He does not have much of a weight problem but he does have slight glucose intolerance. In general, he really watches his food intake using the exchange system that a lot of diabetics use to monitor their carbs.

I told him I would try it for 3 months. It certainly won’t kill me to try it his way, will it?!

We also talked about how to get our 1/2 hour of exercise in and again we ended up thinking the morning would be the best time. We have tried this before but we had to get up at 5:30AM to and be exercising by 5:35. Barf, wayyyy too early.

We don’t live so far away from work anymore so…..after going back and forth about how to do it we knew two things for certain (well maybe three). 1) We feel, sleep and manage better (ie: without the need for caffeine) when we get regular exercise 2) We HAVE to do it for our health 3) We are wayyy too tired to do it after work.

I had a light bulb moment when I remembered I could go into work anytime between 6:30 and 8:30. So, I simply changed my start time to 8:00AM (8:10ish really…).

We didn’t have to change any of our morning routine, we simply added the 1/2 hour of exercise. How easy and cool is that!!??

Being on the exchange plan has been relatively easy so far and I do not feel deprived. My snacking has decreased even more and I do get hungry before meals. I have 3 small meals and then a medium sized dinner. I still have pizza on Fridays and ice cream when I want it. As long as I count it I can have it (sounds familiar…). My husband says that after he did the exchange system for a while he would have days that he would not be all that hungry and would have to force himself to eat. He says that feeling satisfied on this plan has more to do with the balance of the foods than anything else. For someone who naturally eats low fat foods they would lose weight very quickly just watching carbs and getting enough vegetables. I can’t imagine, however, that I would ever feel like I had to force myself to eat….c’mon!!
I plan to plug all my food for this week into FitDay to see what my nutritional breakdown will be. I don’t think I am hitting the mark every single day but if I can get good averages over 2 weeks I’ll call it good. I may need to change the vitamin I am taking or add an additional supplement….it is a lot of work to get 35 grams of fiber into your food intake every single day. My doctor suggested a really high fiber cereal in the morning, I really like my dry Kashi and banana in the morning but I may have to change that….All Bran? There has to be something better than that! The last time I tried to eat that it really did taste like tree bark.
I think it is going to make a huge difference that my husband and I are on the same plan and doing the exercise together. It makes it easier for daily food choices and meals in the evenings and weekends.
I am not going to be so stupid as to say this feels like “it” but it feels like more better than going it alone.
I’ll write more about the basics of the plan with some links in a few days.

Clean Food

Since my last post I have had one 3 day bout in the sugar bowl and then back out again.  I think if I were addicted to heroin these ’bouts’ would have killed me by now.  I really do hate the way junk food makes me feel.  I don’t really understand the mechanism in my brain (?) that continues - after all these damn years - to tell me “you can have a little, go ahead.”  I still fall for it about half the time.
My snacks have remained the same but whittled down some.  The Luna bars have gone from 99 cents to 1.39 so I don’t buy those anymore.  It was eating them mainly because of the micronutrients they have.  Probably would be cheaper to just take another vitamin or supplement.
My main snacks remain the prunes, roasted no salt pistachios and Kashi Heart to Heart cereal.  I find since I am eating less, a cup of tea won’t hold me until 10:30 so I eat dry Kashi and a banana with my tea on the way to work.  I still eat my egg beater/whole wheat/broccoli piece of pizza for breakfast (10:30) but  have included an orange with that.  Then I have my usual veggie/chicken wrap for lunch and usually buy a small bag of Sunchips or Baked Lays to go with it.  For an afternoon snack I’ll have a couple more prunes, some nuts and and apple on the way home.
I like eating this way.  Not to be TMI but my stomach and bowels are much happier with this way of eating too.  I always pay for eating crap later on when it seems to pass thru my system like lead.
The evening is still a bit of a problem for me.  I have been on a serious coffee ice cream and chocolate sauce kick for the last month and have a bowl of it nearly every night.  About 1 cup or more…usually more.  Dinner is usually something with pasta or pizza or something really yummy (30 clove chicken and rice, Swiss steak, Mom’s stew).  I know I still eat the bulk of my calories at night and I’ve sort of planned it that way but there are times when it gets out of hand.
Well, nothing is perfect.  I’m certainly not and this is the area of my food stuff where I need the most work and I think I’m making slow headway.  Eventually I’ll have my evening food as ‘clean’ feeling as my day food..and then, well, I still won’t be perfect!  Damn.

On Going Hungry

My strategy of late has been to have enough healthy snacks available so that I don’t indulge in eating a lot of ‘junk’ food while at work. I reasoned that if I had enough healthy snacks available I may still overeat but it would only be on ‘the good stuff’.
It usually works. I still like to have the occasional on the go meal but I’ve managed to keep it to a dull roar….amazing! I have had a few days of snarfing up every piece of chocolate available in the house and still being under 2,200 calories for the day. Wow!
I think I am doing this on the sly really…kind of watching but trying to not make a big deal out of it and trying not to reward myself for ‘good’ behavior by having a blow out every other weekend. Just plodding along, eating a little less every day until I arrive to this place now where I am feeling hunger…real hunger. Something I guess most people actually feel between meals on a regular basis??
I also notice I am not eating as many of my healthy snacks as I was.
I don’t have much else to report at the moment. I am liking where I am at for now. I think I like feeling a little hungry. Food does taste better.
My brown pants are looser and I think I may be able to fit back into my black pants…again. It is a super slow weight loss right now just to get back to where I was but I am OK with that.
I have been sick for a couple of weeks and that slowed me down a bit and I was eating a lot less because I couldn’t taste my food. That tells me that given the choice I’d rather know what I am eating rather than stuff any old thing into my mouth and not really taste it. That is a big change.
I still don’t think I am going to be any more comfortable in that dreaded airplane seat, maybe on our next trip….